images/bardeznet8.gif Home Writing Projects Technology Articles Game Articles Resume Guest Book About Me Links Back From the Dead 22, July 2007 I'm back. I have decided that, after working almost a year in Web Development, that my site looks like ass. Therefore, I have also decided to change formats, backend, design, etc. etc. etc. I'm talking profanity filters, comment filters, comment creating done right, MySQL backend, etc. The works.

So... I've no idea when I'll have the time to actually DO any of this, but I have decided to do it. W0rd.

- Erik "Bardez" Frantz Fuck It 09, Dedember 2006 I haven't updated for almost a month now, and I have no idea when I will again.

Simply put, it is a waste of time that doesn't make me feel good, doesn't gain me anything, and all in all makes me appear fucking psychotic. After taking a good, long look at it, I don't see why I should bother putting anything up here at all. It doesn't help me, and looking back at a particular issue or two, it has truly HURT me by putting this shit up here.

So fuck it. If the notion strikes me to put something up, I will, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Just transcribing -one- of my writings takes anywhere from fifteen minutes to over an hour (with the record being over three), and I really don't feel like wasting any more time on something that hinders me in life.

Oh, and Aarti, stop being such a fucking hypocrite. If you want no contact, then you should probably at least -try- to uphold it on your end. The road to emotional healing isn't the one with frequent stops at your ex-boyfriend's website to see what's new in his hollow, empty life. I'm not being mean here; I'm trying to point out the flaw in what you are doing.

So anyway... fuck it. I can't remember the last time working on this web site made me feel even slightly good or helped me feel some sort of accomplishment. Plus, it's not like any of my writing is anywhere near the level of art that the world needs to notice; I am not blessing the world with my words, nor am I depriving it of anything by not making an effort to share. So fuck it.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Requests 04, November 2006 Still no updates. But now I change that. Also, for now, there is a Requests page for anyone to request a written work.

Check it out, yo!

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Ultima Online 22, October 2006 OK, no updates. Why? Ultima Online. In case you are daft and have not picked up from this website, I love Ultima. The only incarnation of it still around and updated is Ultima Online. I have recently started playing it. Again.

See, it's an MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game); MMOs suck the life out of you, consuming all your time in life. I just spend all my spare time on UO than transcribing my writings. And honestly, maybe that's a good thing. Sure, I don't contribute art to the world, but *shrug,* no one reads it anyway. So it shall just have to wait. Too bad. I just felt that (hypocritically? counter-argument-aly?) my absence needed addressing.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz I Am Done 13, October 2006 I am done with life. I want to end it before I wrong anyone else in this shit existence that I plague with my mistakes in life. I am ready for it to end.

That is all.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz I'm Fucking Bored. 08, October 2006 I am bored. Really fucking bored. I am so bored that I am bored. Bored-y bored. I'm not in the mood to be productive, but rather in the mood to relax and do something entertaining. And I am bored.

The thing is, I want to play a game, watch TV or a movie or SOMEthing. The problem there is that I've played too many games in my day, watched too damned much TV, seen an ass-load of movies, and have a deeply biologically rooted depression. Everything I can think of seems already done or simply not worth doing. I am fuggin' bored.

Basically I think I want to get some ass. I need a woman in my life to be happy, it seems, but it is not the cure-all for my depression; love is just the key to unlocking my shackles. I know enough about myself to know what will and will not work for me, and I have to say that a woman will work, inasmuch as AA meetings work for alcoholics. I need to happy-ify myself ... myself. I need to make myself happy on my own, but unfortunately it seems that a having a bitch is the obstacle I must first pass before I can set any of this in motion. Trust me, I've tried without success before, many, many times without a ho.

I know what I want, what will make my happy, and how to deal with the rest of my life. I just don't know how to get to that point where I can deal with all of these things. It is as if I am the general in command of a vast invasion with complete and unerring battle plans with weaponry that can naught but go unrivaled, but all I have to do is raise the army to invade, with no idea as to how I am going to do it.

Woe is me. I'm bored with life. I'm single. I'm alone. Whine, pine. I'm sick of myself, as I am like this every day, every spare moment I have to think about existence. My self-disgust is recursive; I loathe myself because I loathe myself because... Ugh. I didn't really LIKE recursion all that much in school, so I stop it now. The point is that... what was my point? I guess it was that I don't like myself because I am annoying, and because I am presented with a Catch-22 solution of trying to solve my woes. I hate life at times. Almost daily, in fact. Yippee.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz It's Been A While 29, September 2006 I now have internet access somewhere that is not my mother's home. This means a few things, but most importantly it means that Bardez.net will now get updated like it should have been for the past... two, three(?) months. I have finished working on the writings under Angst , and will be uploading that soon. The only questions left now that I can surf the net without being disgusted by my surroundings are 1) "where can I find greater quantities of beer at a lower cost, " and 2) "what to do next?" I can do projects, another period of my life, selected works, articles, stories, etc. ... I just don't know which of them to do.

But there's new content! If not now, then in about two days! Rejoice, all ye masses nonexistant that enjoy this here site! The content god has spoken, and he spake: "let there be more." And I thought it was half-decent.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Nothing New 13, September 2006 Once again, there has been an enormous amount of time in which the site has seemed like an abyss of old content. That's right, there's been nothing added and that sucks. The fact is, I've been working on it a lot, but haven't uploaded a thing because I need an internet connection to put the finishing touches on any new page, and the only connection I have is in a place I more or less despise. So I have a bunch of new content just kind of sitting, waiting to be added, but never getting its chance to be seen.

Maybe I'll get some stuff posted, maybe not; it isn't going to affect anyone or anything worth a god-damn if I do or don't.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Rumors of my Death... 03, August 2006 I have been working on the website, but I haven't posted anything worth a God-damn. That's because (for some reason) I had a raging hard-on about installing Windows XP x64 on my laptop, the mobile base of my website operations. I first backed it up (taking 2 days with Norton Ghost 10 over Ethernet connection to my desktop), formatted it, spent 2 days finding a working image and serial on BitTorrent (um... I mean "buying"), then spent 2 more days restoring the laptop to the backup I had made four days prior. I don't know what possessed me, but it was a stupid move. Video editing still isn't completely 64-bit (damn you AVISynth), and 32-bit programs are emulated in Windows (I don't care about performance ratio, "emulation" is just plain something to be avoided when 90% of everything you run falls under what would be emulated).

Anyway, I've got a bunch of shit done, but haven't uploaded any of it. *Shrug* Maybe tomorrow; there's so much I've updated that I've lost track of it all, so I'll just upload it all overnight or something.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Self Betrayal 15, July 2006 I haven't really done much work on the website lately, mostly because it is the instrument through which I have stabbed myself in the back. OK, that's a little rediculous, but suffice it to say that I've done something that has made me feel like utter shit for going on a week now. Anyway, I'm back to dicking around with the website at last, no matter how much I might so despise it for the time being.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Comments! 13, June 2006 Check it out; I've just spent the last two days adding in new code to allow you all to make comments in the writings section! If it's a little buggy, don't worry; I'll fix it soon. But hopefully there aren't any and it'll be cool. Now I'll just wait for someone to write something, I guess...

Comments can be added at the bottom of a work's page, after my own comments!

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Searching... 11, June 2006 I've been here in Peoria for nigh unto a month now, and I still have no job. I can't even get a goddamn video rental job.

Yeah.

So here I am, trying to be a "good" "man," trying to be there for my grandmother, trying to help my mother in the one time in my life that I've ever seen her motivated enough to clean her home, and it's just not what it should be. I should have a job, my own place, a fucking INCOME... I've got none of this, and I don't see it coming anytime soon. So do I stay and do what I see as the "right thing," or do I go and find the first job I can and take it?

I wish I knew.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Bored And Bumming 19, May 2006 So I have graduated. I'm back in Peoria for a year or two, and am totally bored because I'm unemployed and have none of my friends to hang out with. They aren't back yet, and I'm stuck here twidling my goddamn thumbs.

So why not keep working on the old website?

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Not Around 30, April 2006 Still no updates. Been busy with school, and cleaning out my dad's house. The fucker was a total pack rat. So I'm heading back to Peoria for a while after graduation, and I have no idea when I'll get regular internet access back.

Not that I know of anyone who actually gives a fuck about me or my website.

Just Sayin.'

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Daddy's Dead 20, March 2006 There will be no updates to the site for a while, considering the fact that my father was found dead earlier today, this morning from what I am told. I don't know how he died, just that my grandmother found him dead in the basement this morning. Oh, there's plenty of feelings flowing and plenty of words being written, but I sure as hell am not in the mood to transcribe any of it at the moment.

Anyone who knew Larry Thomas Frantz, as well as anyone who knows me, I ask solely that you take a moment of silence out of courtesy to the departed. Or scream, blather and disrespect; I really won't know if you do. But I feel better asking people to, and would ask that you honor his memory, the memory of my now-deceased father.

Fuck.

-Erik "Bardez" Frantz Done! 09, March 2006 So I just finished assigning titles to all my works. That took an incredibly long time. All I have now to do is add a new section to Writing, Quotes, and then put all my works in a spreadsheet so I can keep track of it all and I will be able to restart with transcription. Good shit, I tell ya.
-Bardez Still Here 25, February 2006 So I'm still around, working on the site even. I haven't updated a damned thing for one reason and one reason only: to update my collection of works quasi-randomly, I need to know how to number them and the like. It's all about keeping tabs on what goes where. I'm anal like that. So I'm making this Excel file that holds all pertinant information about a work. Then in the middle of this process I noticed that like half of my shit is untitled. Kind of throws a wrench into those gears. So I've been naming my works for the past week and change, and I might be about halfway done with the "database." So this step comes before updates, and it takes awhile to read a work and name it properly. I can do anywhere from five to twenty-five in one sitting before my ADD kicks in and I get overly bored with the task. So there you have it.
-Bardez Something Different 12, February 2006 I got really bored reading & transcribing the boring early years of my writing, and have decided to try something different. With maybe 750 works, stories not included, I think that a new approach might be called for. Therefore and thusly I am going to randomly pick things to transcribe with no bias other than "have I transcribed this yet?" So look around the various subsections. You might find more than the annoying and confused teenager of old, such as the annoying and confused adult of today.

At least I'm honest about it.
-Bardez 100th Transcription 26, January 2006 I have just completed transcribing my 100th written work! Bardez.net officially has a decent amount of content; it would take anyone a while to read what's here. So I feel good, feel that I haven't been lazy about the site. It's also cool to finally have this much content.
-Bardez We Will Adapt (to PHP) 26, December 2005 So transcription of the "Writings" section has begun. It isn't a whole lot just yet, but this shit takes time. Like, serious amounts of time. I'm also, right now, in the middle of making everything all PHP-y and more dynamic and modular. Also, the Bardez.net logo above should be different with every page that you load. There are 10 that are randomly loaded, so it is cool looking, and the page display layout should not change to fit the image each time, either.

By the time anyone sees this, the site should be fabtabulous.
-Bardez Updates... 06, December 2005 I've been working for the past few weeks on Bardez.net, almost non-stop. Most of the sections are at least "functional" for the most part, but there isn't really all that much content. Take another look in a couple of weeks; I'm sure that by then it will start to look like something has actually been going on for the past week.
-Bardez Resume 29, November 2005 I've got to say, it's odd just how long it's been since I've worked on the website. Now I'm going to be working my ass off for the next few days on it. Ouchness. The bunghole burns. Anyway, the resume section is now online, and I've got to say, I LOVE the way it looks. Peace outside!
-Bardez PHP/XML 20, October 2005 So now the Bardez.net news page is now written in PHP and XML. The update took... let's see... three hours? So, yeah. Bardez.net is now PHP enabled and displaying in XML. Very good design, methinks, since XML is object-oriented. So PHP is good, and I have nothing else to say.
-Bardez Live! 18, October 2005 Finally, Bardez.net has gone live is some sense of the word. Nothing worth mentioning has been integrated yet, but at least the whole news / blog page has been placed on the site. I'm still trying to decide if I should go with XML for the news or what. Could be fun, who knows?

Anyways, Bardez.net is up and running! W00t! 18648